I am emotionally bruised. 
I can understand that i did u wrong, but to push away seemed too harsh for a heart that was longing.

I'm sorry that i wouldnt be able for you to connect. But distance would take em away i hope. I just dont want to remind myself how stupid i was..

Popstar researching oblivion

Its September already.
2 biggest events are going to happen in my life.
1) yed’s birthday on the 17th
2) 22nd will be my last day, officially giving my job a blow to the wind.

I have loads of things to do on that first event, but I don’t think I can manage. :P I am not being ambitious only that the equipments ain’t that comprehensive for me to make it possible. So, I guess I will settle with something sweet, apple sweet…………….. Effe, I really don’t know what im gonna do for him! Something will come up. Soon. I know.

As for the second one… yeah.
I’m leaving my current job, which I have been IN for 1 year 10 months and 3 days. I decided to leave because I have taken so much of unnecessary gloom, that will always come and haunt me every month, and on some events on daily basis. As to answer the question that I have raised previously about, why we can hold up till now but cant hold up any longer…. That’s basically because life is as meaningless if you tend to make something less out of your life. Routine is good, for me… but it will only be good if you’re in love with it. I like my job sometimes, coz it makes me understand more about people. Even if they come and shout, I can understand, I don’t mind the pressure being put on myself like that coz as I have known, we are the frontlines, the punchbags or whatever shit they call, but the thing that I couldn’t take is that the environment itself. Sometimes I wonder, if the big heads actually know the importance of joy in the workplace. And all the while, I have survived cause I make fun of myself, by myself and yeah. And like what my colleague told me, that if frustration keep building up it will blow up. So, I guess its time now. My colleagues felt sad on the day I tendered, it was a sad day for me too. But I love myself more, which love… is selfless and yet, selfish still. But ill be leaving as quiet like I first got here.

So, what’s the next step??
I’ll be afloat with a month’s salary, and I am planning to loathe around and have fun loathing with family and yed and friends if cash allows me to. Then, prepare stuffs for my engagement. Poooff! Yeah. Big word yeah…. Really big word for me. Reaaallly BIG! I guess that’s time too. It’s scary, but the thot of it never fail to put a smile on my face.
Okay… scary.

Ramadan for me is no fun. I love to eat I want to eat. I’m hungry.

Ouh, highlight for today.. among one of the stuffs that rul sent to me.
Which is think is really true. I know, mine’s really bad.

How bad is your temper-according to horoscope

ARIES : March 21 April 20
Nothing seems to ruffle you more than a lack of discipline, disloyalty and decorum. But Arians are also known to go into a rage very easily when challenged. Those of you who've been on the receiving end of the Aries temper know that if not calmed down they can even get violent. But one thing is certain if the opponent remains calm and does not react to their outburst, Arians cool down very fast. They will be also the first to apologize which makes them easier to forgive.

TAURUS : April 21 May 20
You are generally quiet and have control over your emotions. It is difficult to predict what will upset you, so when you do lose yr cool, people don't know how to react. Your temper is like that of a raging bull, and anyone trying to pacify you'll be the first one to get a verbal bashing. You generally get upset when you are cornered or when people accuse you of doing something wrong. You also hate being reminded about mistakes you've made in the past. You also have the potential to be terribly vindictive if rubbed the wrong way.

GEMINI : May 21 June 20
You're recognised by your cheerful disposition & yr jovial nature is not easily susceptible to anger. In fact, you're the best person to have around when there is an ugly scene at a party cos you can bring the warring factions together quite diplomatically. But when you lose your cool, you yell and scream and will not listen to reason. You must have the last word in a wordy duel. Your capacity to argue aggressively is matched only by yr seductive charm.
CANCER : June 21 July 21
Considering how charming, caring, and kind you are, you dislike unpleasant scenes, much less creating one yourself. You have great tolerance & rarely get provoked into losing your temper. If someone's unreasonable or trying to create trouble, you are more likely to walk away quietly. But that does not mean you do not have a temper. When angry, in yr effort to control yr emotions, you tremble, your hands get sweaty, and sometimes you fumble for words. Tears roll down your eyes easily and the opponent is touched by your innocence and will seek an apology immediately.

LEO : July 22 August 21
If anyone has total control over their emotions, it is you. But then, you can be described as stiff, cold and uncaring. You are known to lack spontaneity but you really don't care about opinions. You don't like to create scenes and will never accept invitations to a party where you suspect the presence of an unruly lot. But your very presence seems challenging to some and they take vicarious pleasure in your disquiet. When angry you can use very critical language. A dressing-down can humiliate yr opponent, causing a strain between both of you forever.

VIRGO : August 22 September 21
Most of you are gentle and have full control over your emotions, but those of you given to temper tantrums can certainly get violent. When see thing with rage, you yell and shout and tend to break things lying close at hand. You can even harm yourself by banging your hands on a glass top table or wall. You should never get into any argument, for you are a sore loser. You feel that others are trying to persecute you and don't quite respect yr opinions. When hurt, you can also hold grudges forever.

LIBRA : September 22 October 22
Did someone say that you're the charmers of the zodiac? Well, it's true. Few have ever seen you ruffled or angry. You're very conscious of your image, and you believe that anger distorts your face and personality. You also think you are above things like anger. But wait before you get into self-congratulatory mood. Your family or those very close to you know you better. You have an unmatched temper amongst all the zodiac signs, and what makes it worse is your capacity to justify it.

SCORPIO : October 23 November 21
Of course you don't lose your cool. But your very demeanour (manner) projects haughtiness (arrogance, pride), pride and grand disdain (disregard) for lesser mortals (humans). Others are often found saying that anger sits on your nose, and you are raring to give your peace of mind to the 1st person who tries to act funny with you. You are selective in the choice of your friends, and have a low tolerance for the superfluous (extra) types. Your tongue-lashing (attack) is generally in a soft hissing tone, for when you scream, your voice tends to get shrill & loud, & you do hate drawing attention to yourself. When upset, you are angrier with yourself for having shown weakness, for the last thing that Scorpio wants to show is being out of control.

SAGITTARIUS : November 22 December 20
You're insensible and generally have no complete control over your emotions. You do get angry quickly and others marvel at your anger levels even when provoked. Actually, you get tongue-tied when angry and you will remove your anger waiting for the other person to calm down. Then you will reason with your opponent and convince the other person in a very gentle manner that the whole thing was just his mistake. You're also likely to totally sever ties with someone when you're upset with them.

CAPRICORN : December 21 January 19
Few will believe that a hardcore practical and materialistic person like you is capable of sensitivity and genuine emotions. You project a hard exterior but are actually very sensitive, a trait you successfully hide from others. U can be seething with anger but will not betray your feelings. But then, there are times that even you cannot control yr temper. Under such circumstances you can shout and scream, more with frustration at the situation than with anger at any particular person. Your outbursts can shock others and can make them feel guilty too.

AQUARIUS : January 20 February 18
You are noble and kind and dislike losing control over your emotions. It's very rare for you to get angry. You are also the pacifier in situations that involve arguments. It is always your endeavour to be perfect and socially correct in your behaviour & attitude, but if misunderstood and slighted you can give in to an angry outburst. You'll shout and scream and then walk out from the scene. You cannot easily forget the situation and will be bitter about it for a long time.

PISCES : February 19 March 20
The only thing that can be said about you dreamers is that you appear even more attractive when angry. You are very sensitive to others' feelings, so you rarely hurt them. But when others tend to hurt you, then things take a nasty turn. You'll yell and use harsh words, and feel inclined to shake everything and everyone up. Your creative imagery is at its best when angry, & you tend to get pretty dramatic. When upset, you refuse to listen to reason & wish to be left alone. But once you have calmed down, you repent your tantrums and seek forgiveness. So nobody can be upset with you for too long.