barely moving

think its pretty much easier telling it the way that it does.

i hope it tells something.
whatwever, today isnt as great. yet another news that had to be swallowed with much bitter butter batter. my beloved manager is resigning with a very short notice which had brought us with musings of unhappiness. and that have made me gained more and more less enthusiasm to continue. to be under the wings of ones whom i dislike.. is simply another bitterness that i just have to gulp in. thats terribly tearing.
ive been advised to not be too intact with those ur working with, but how can i not when going there is practically my life. same faces everyday... i got so used to it, and when they're gone... its out of the norm already.

still, i believe they're flying out to quest for the ultimate purpose of living.
which i have yet to find mine. hihi.

i need my dizziness. drug me, make me forget. whisper me strange melodies. please cut through the clouds. fly me out of this world.

do not let me

losing is frightening. and death is.. death.

i just watched the fountain. it was the saddest story ever told. it brought me to tears on every secs of the movie. how sick. but cant help but relate to ones that i love dearly.

i dont know how people could survive. if it were me, id die along the day when the lights dimmed.just like when i lost my pet rabbit. i cried buckets full. and that was only a pet. what if....

if only death is a disease, then people would carry on to live forever.

:|

do you?

do you ever consider yourself lucky?

i read one interesting article today. its about luck and how it happens and how we could actually have lucks on our side at all times. there was this one magician wiseman who conducted a research about luck and he said that luck will always be on the side of ppl who are always open to things. i do agree on that. but thinking again and again on the article, basically its about chances. the more you give in to risks, the bigger the chances for luck to strike. its simply like a science project. you keep on coming and doing em for something to happen, but with correct substance and right timing and perfect conditions.. something might just pop and you'll be making history.

how would you think ppl won lotteries? and on the pachinko machines? they lost quite a lot to win a lot. pure ass luck still... rather than for ones who only stand and think its a waste to waste on gambling. they gain slowly out of it.

i want to be lucky, in order to make your own luck, you gotta take things luckily. to take it on a lighter side of incidences. as chances might just be open for luck to play around somewhere in the midst...and that i can say " i guess im lucky " loudly.

yeah.

lastly, i have this something bugging my mind.

why would rich people are very.... i couldnt seem to find the word to describe.. erm.. ridiculous??? stupidly particular? stingy? assholes? well mannered but a super dumbass? knowitall? dewa bangang?

just a grudge that i went home with from work. i want to be rich, but i also wouldnt want to lose my dignity on humanity and logics and humour and happiness. coz i always see people who are rich that likes to burden themselves with hate and madness and selfishness and objections. why would rich people throw away their money but be very particular about it? shouldnt right? i mean looking at myself.. i aint that rich but im happy enough to throw away money and not keeping track on where it goes. do not practise this at home. heh.

other example:
there is this one promotion that a company is running. its like this.
spend $10000 from 1st june 2007 until 30th june 2007, and redeem for a Wii (retail price - $600), limited to first 10 customers only for successful redemptions made.

i say dont be stupid to spend 10K for that purpose. you are able to cut off the spending and just buy the damn Wii and no heartaches.
hihi okie, this is contradicting on words of luck earlier. but it it already contradicting, suppose to be spend big and win big-ger as well!
but you can go ahead and spend and redeem... but if you're not on the top ten.. consider yourself unlucky and be lucky about it and! do not brag about " i spent purposely on my a/c because of this and i cannot redeem! "

be wise. please do not make an ass out of yourself.
thank you.


lavender diamond - oh no

and and.. credit card is not making you any richer. its suppose to be convenient. conveniently poor! how ridiculous! i didnt authorise for it. but im keeping myself tight. like really tightly! what im afraid is about the opening of the cave is so small the the end of it is bigger. and that when i see the lights i aint that jolly. do you ever encounter this wisdom thingy about the caves entrance and the exit small to bigger? its about spending, this cave thing. but its not happening. on tightening myself. :D

" dizzy, make me "

An Evening In Bangkok

it was lovely. the place was pretty sooothing and thats pretty much why they call it a boutique restaurant. and we were crazy enough to take up their house specialty thai king leaves roll something. we ate till full. a total jolly golly evening in bangkok.

im liking this song!

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" I try and try but my obsession wont let me leave "

go go !

i went to the bank, with my smart looking 'expensive' shoe. a guy turned around and quickly looked at my shoes. i noticed him cause he was obviously looking at my shoes. then he said " that is a very nice looking shoes ".
since i knew it was coming, i say.. "ouh thanks!".
he said something more after that, but i tend to just ignore and smile and went silent and i felt safe... for some moments. after cashing into my moms a/c, i went out and i saw him outside playing around with his hp. my heart streaked few words into my brain and told me that that guy was actually waiting for me. so i took out my hp and stalled myself for a while until i saw him started walking. jadi buat bodoh sambil jalan bersama talipon bimbit. then! he was at the stairs... and he saw me and bragged some more about mi shoes on how cantik, how he'd like to take it off me and kiss it like roses. how comel my dimples were, my hair my spectacles! how big was my smile. although during that time my goal was to go home, it occured to me that there was nothing much at home. so i stayed and talked a lil bit more, just to hear nice things from a stranger. however, i know that 85% of things he said were just hookup lines and BSs everywhere in betweenn. i want to believe.. but its just too sweet that it yucks from my mouth. i mean really. i tried to shoo him away by saying im not a party girl, and that i read lotsa books and magazines, and that i will sit at a coffee shop with nothing but myself and the book, and that im a broken social scene, a nobody. but he complimented me with something else pulakkkkkkkkkkkkk. ppphbt. by that time i was already tired hearing sweet things. too much sugar aint good for red. and i told him he imagined lotsa of things. and that he freaked me out a little. he took it with a laugh and said sorry. overall, he was ok. good looking.. but ok.

but coming back home after.. i do look at the mirror and analyzing on things that he said. mihihi! but still...

im a freak. so go away.

so gentlemen,
if you really want to hook up a girl.. do not overcompliment. too much of it we would start thingking you're having classified symptom of neurotic illnesses.

and ladies,
this is what you'll get when you wear shoes with heels. they make certain sounds of attention. i love the sound of the one that i wore just now, but the sound was suppose to be strong, hotheaded, in control and to make guys turn away and small. i felt that way all along but not this time. so wear em, and with care. not to the shoes. but to yourself.