to & fro

hello.

i just had my surgery and i am now on a recovery phase. nothing serious anyway :P but yeah it was a total new experience for me. i had it all written in my diary, so i kinda am not in the mood of typing it all again here. this will be edited anyway. if my heart comes to pour it all out.

however, my biggest heart goes to the people who had shown love and care especially ayin, and dizzy and alia. and dar, dar's sister, munirah, harry, shah, zainal, suhaimi, amjad, zamri and nani. i mean, i dont mind if you guys didnt show up at all... but having you there was a blast. and ouh, to those who have also wished me well. it was a moment of my life.

ouh. i stayed at the hospital for only a night.. a restless one i must say. and i dint tell any of my family members up until hours before the surgery. :P . they went mad, but i had my reasons explained. and they were like.. ' ye elleh... '. i just dont want em to worry, especially when that was a super minor. so yeah.

and its not just me in a recovery. you know, me and dizzy is now on our 5th year. we went through rocky moments and still made it. just only... i wanna believe that things between us will be bridged forever if we believe that communication and honesty plays the biggest part. so yeah.

i still have hopes. only that i wanna make my hope to be realized. and that wont come to a realization if im playing it out alone.

.. double dots.

anaesthetize me

till you are returned.

So I have scheduled the date for the extraction of the lump, the funny thing about scheduling with the doctor’s PA the other day was that.. she wanted me to opt for ‘being conscious and awake during the surgery’. On that second, I didn’t mind coz firstly, I don’t want to be admitted, and the cost might be cheaper, and experience where! half of my body will be numbed, doktor juling tgk tetek saya, ouh! see if there were any similarities with what I saw on tv.. and prolly coz I thot I would be in love with myself more, you know seeing things with your bare eyes. at the same time, Mun was there with me.. and she was terrified hearing that, and especially after I said I didn’t mind. She thought it was just crazy and horrifying to see the doctor performing the surgical procedures, and the sounds, the lights..pphbt! only then I got to realize… whutta F was I thinking?

Please do let me brag.

The PA aka My Girl (as called by my Dr. H) told me that both were just the same. Only that if I opt anesthetics, I will have to stay a night in the hospital, but if I go for for the other one, I can just walk home on the same day (see how minor it is :P). but.. mun changed my mind, and I told PA I didn’t think I could do anything while Dr. H perform. Hihi. So yeah! I was always healthy; I had never been to hospital because of myself. It’s pretty scary. You know, the other day I went there… its just sickening to see sick people. Pphbt. Surprisingly, I once had the idea to probably do another degree .. say nursing. But, that visit had totally completely changed my perspective. Im just not as strong. I don’t have that much courage. But nurses can fling around with the doctors?

Mihihi.

Ouh. I had a tough January I must say. What a start for a new year. Im not complaining but, I just wished that I have some kind of an escapade… just a short while I don’t mind; as long as I get to run as far from this world of responsibilities and work and sickness. And I kinda erm… been having feelings that my mom would probably go this year.

I’m no work of miracle, every now and then I do hope that The Almighty will still give her time to let me show her enough love.

So yeah.
Greet me well 2008.

err. my date with Dr H will be on the 20th. im going to spend a night.
anaesthetize me till ur returned.