Hi, I am mjo and im a lipbalm addict. it all started when i was 16 back in 2000 when my sister bought one for me. cant take it away since then. i must have it with me all the time and i cant wear anything else on my lips, and that my life would be 40% empty without it.
help.
caroline lufkin - sunrise
we were there. we sat on the front row. we were enjoying ourselves. we were enjoying her songs. most of all... we were enjoying her performances.
she was small, she was wearing a very wornout black shoes, and a cute green dress. her face was all red and nervous, and was almost speechless... but she managed to sing beautifully. and nothing lesser than from what you listened from her cd, and wayyy too much better. she sang sunrise for the opening song, made my heart thumping around with disbelief. second most waited was 'wheres my love'. she sang the song with a pouring heart, almost to follow with a teary eyes, but she didnt. it was only my feelings.
the showcase was sooo warm (although it was damn cold), and just lovely. and with dizzy around... gggr. it was among the memorable times of the year.
we headed out home after almost the 2 hours performances. pixie didnt go home after that as she'd like to steal more of sweet moments with caroline... and she did. i am so much lesser, as pixie is a bigger fan than i am. so caroline returned her love which was awesome hearing her summarised experiences with lufkin. hihi.
then on sunday, i hurried out to sunway to pick out dizzy and fara. thought of going for a movie, but ended up shopping instead. i bought few dresses which is suppose to be cute on me, and i really hope it will look cute on me, however... i just dont know when to wear em. hehe... and fara did too. and surprisingly she bought the same dresses like mine. so i told her, do not wear em if we were to meet. she said ok. she was funny. shes the little sister that i never had. and i get to pretend to be the older sister. and give out advices and be open to whatever.
i had a lovely weekend. and i never wished for em to end.
todays matter is happiness.
i dont know how to explain on that one. but it sure does things momentarily and temporary. and that it cannot beat despairs and sorrows. materialistically speaking, happiness can be bought as well. it gives you hope sometimes. it makes you wish that it will last a lifetime. but then again, its momentarily and temporary...which is usually depressing. i am just tired of trying. and my heart starts confessing. i have yet to reach my mid life and now i am thinking everything is at world's end. i seem to be having this kind of unhealthy thoughts every now and then. i seriously need to take a serious action to steer my mind away straight to the ultimate happiness. if any... things are much easier if i could just blame it to someone else and thats totally unfair i know, even so... still it wouldnt solve anything. this is what happens when desire suffocate your mind. life living is not plenty enough to be approved by one's own.
yes i still havent had enough of things. especially this, where i and dizzy head out to one of the cold districts here. it was breathtakingly beautiful. the tea plantations, the strawberries, the mountains and the soft kisses of cold air to the skin... it was like the life you'd like to escape to and live. the trip was nauseaus (is the spell correct?), and short and windy and cold and green and pretty and lovely. i cant thank dizzy enough of how the trip made me happy. having you around again is certainly the most blissful dream. and for that i wish that you will never leave me alone again. ever again.
im sorry that i love and yet i hurt.
the cold still bite my bones
freelance hellriser - want you to know
im sure most of you have watched the latest advertisement from sony ericsson. the first time i saw it i thought.. hey i gotta have that handphone! but since right now im short of supply.. i say maybe later. but still.. the song that was featured in that ad was momentous.
additional spice: it was sooooo hard finding this song! i spent all evening pusing mata mencari. but was not as hard as finding feist's version of lover's spit. whatever kelape...want you to know, this song makes me happy.
i tried as could not to fall asleep after work. now my head is totally out of this world. im out of air. im closing my eyes. i just want to sleep, and hope not to die.
"We don't need to say goodbye
We don't need to fight and cry
Oh we, we could hold each other tight tonight"
i am so going to caroline's showcase!
however, i was quite surprised that klpac was dead on this particular sunday night. like really dead and scary super scary made me paranoid by its deadness. took a trip there to get tix for lufkin's, but the sales office was closed. they say it was closed at 8.. but we were there at 7.55. just odd. and pixie was again went funky monkey in the car. and ouh! mud city really was into the mud thing. rain, clogs and knee high... do avoid the city during heavy rains.
surprisingly today, i found some money in my backpockets, its not $1 or $2, $5 or $10.... but $150??? someone is sending out a message that i should really go out and buy awesome things!! ? the amount is getting bigger and bigger that makes my mouth open wider and wider and mata juling and julinger.... but nah. ill save it for rainy days.
i wanna be dizzied for forever.
"sunrise, make me feel love"
maroon 5 - won't go home without you.
this song has been buggin my head for days now. first heard this song at this one shop in lion city. didnt take long to recognize the voice.
the song's cute.
is a title of a movie.
while i was lying on the floor, i tried to think of something. and surprisingly i coulnt think of anything. and at the back of mind, it said ' you have loads of things you have to think about, and yet you cant think of any. '
its not that i cannot think of any, i just dont know how. and im just afraid to. long term isnt my thing. i always think that living life on day to day basis is the way to cope. much easier as well. dont look forward, dont look back. do live for the moment, and let them pass.
but it does bug me on certain occasions. though i have my life coach with me.... i still cant draw my line of paths. whenever being asked 'what is your goal?' i turned all blue and weak and goal-less.
the farthest that i can see, is only my nose. be still my heart.
can you figure out what day is 2 days before the day after tomorrow. i had quite a trouble time figuring that one out. yeah yeah im an old feeble machine. he got that from SP, he's as crazy.
so this is my second day on the grave yard. and i feel like telling.
i had met pixie early last month. she's odd and crazy and she has nice things to say. we were strangers in the office, and she was still when we went for shopping spree - kindnapped me to a curvy complex - coaxed me to sleep at her house and gotten even stranger when i realized she hypnotized me to follow her to her aunt's getaway party. but since she has nice set of teeths i say alright.
last weekend, i went back to jb and pixie was dying to get out of the country. and since the lion city is a wicked country especially on GSS and only a swim away from my house, lets do this. we drove out for a jolly adventure from kl at 7pm and i was never well driving at night time but since i borrowed pixie's pair of eyes to assist me, i thought... okay. but it was her singings that had given me erm..ultimate motivation? to arrive home ASAP. :P she crashed in for a night at my humble ol house and she had something that sent skittles to my bone at night. this time, not only her clinching teeths.. but something. hihi
woke up late the next morning. went to bandar for money, lunched, and off we went. firstly i did not have the intention of going to the lion city as i already had enough of the citizens. but pixie was in the state of refreshing up, and thought maybe i needed it too so i decided to be the sucky tourist guide. i am sure as hell im awesome at that.we were tortoise. on and off the bus, on and off the train, by the time we reached the main city i started to have feet aches as well as backpains. and rewarded ourselves with a dollar icecream. we sat near the icecream cart and people kept on coming for the icecream and we thought that it was because of us. (ps: i and dz always thought that this kind of advertising is the bestest) we ate it till the last stroke of tongue. geli tak penggunaan perkataan tu.
we walked again intentionally burning our feets. and took pictures for friendster or rajin enough to flckr. pixie did more shoppings than i did. as usual, the mama bosan thingy kicked in. however, managed to buy bubblywonky a polo shirt where the crocodile open wide its mouth. nipples for newborn sara and few other stuffs for myself :P wonky was jiggly when he got his polo. jiggly bubble puff.
back to the episodes of our adventure.. early evening after mikidees, pixie managed to get ahold of her aunt n unc. and went off to take off our almost heavy turtle packs and cont our splurging quests until we worn ourselves out. then somewhre 11++ we arrived at pixie's aunt's house and slept till 10 in the morn. and ouh! pixie's neph tried to wake me up by callng me momma. it worked a bit, but i was not his momma and seconds after he knew i wasnt so we both knew what we wanted and we split ways. tapi sangat lah comel itu kanak riang ria. hours later, we found ourselves wondering around another part of the country. pixie took out the monkey in her, and i took out mine. mines not monkey, mines somewhat boring-er. then to vivo and p's aunt and unc was very kind to send me to q st for home. i just had to go home coz i missed my mother and sister.i left pixie in the wilderness.
again with the heavy packs, on and off the bus and i arrived. dad picked me up but while i waited for him, he drove passed by me and i waved like crazy but he still couldnt see. i ran with the heavy packs and saw few puckered faces. and finally dada stopped and he scolded me in the car as he said he had been around for half hour. i kept my mouth tight coz he was always right. and oh! i called dz once i reached local city like super immediately. i had trouble sleeping the night before coz i didnt get to talk to him to give out updates. kuning bangang. pphhbt.
as much as i wanted to sleep, still couldnt beat my yearning heart to see the new baby in noahs. i heard scary stories from bonda about what my sister went through before, during and after the delivery. but after hearing it from my sis's mouth, it was farmost the most dangerous act my sis had pulled.
lilo was already in pain from early in the morning and she still forced herself to work as she thought it wasnt time yet. she called my mom abt the pains and was not encouraged to cont the day at the office but she said 'im alright'. mi momma was worried sick and kept herself updated now and then. by evening, it has gotten worse but lilo told the baby to hold on. she managed to get home after that and told bonda. bonda tried to persuade lilo to drive herself to bonda's house but lilo push off the idea. so bonda called for aid. lindot medot, my first sister and hubby. they offered to sleep at lilo's house in case if anything they were there to help, and again lilo pushed them away saying ' im alright'. that time was almost 10pm. bonda was mad but nothing she could do but to God she yearned. then! at 1 in the morning the phone rang, and bonda picked up and she was half surprised when lilo was on the other line, and in great pain. bonda quickly ran to dapur and changed into a custom made costume with a B and an R and P on it(Bonda Rokeah Power)and made a call out to lindot medot. lilo arrived at the hospital 40 mins later with a contraction of 3cms. and the doctor took out a baby girl from her at 0415. i received an sms at 0600. and in between... my sister was having a nightmare of her life. the doctor intentionally forgot to jab her with painkiller and stitched her up while my sister was shouting in great distress. this was lilo's 3rd baby with the same doctor only this time without the husband. and she was surprised to see the rm3000 treatment she received. she asked the doctor why, and the nurse gave her a breathing aid with flying sensations kind of effect. she flew away when the doctor continued stitching 12 more. she had also went through lots more improper situations during her delivery which i wouldnt want to state it here. im all jiggy.
of all the sisters, lindot medot, pon and lilo, i love most lilo. and most of time i always thought she deserved better. earlier i told that she said to baby sara to hold on. i asked her why, she said that it wasnt time yet, not without her hubby. which her hubby went to kl right after the doctor said sara would make her debut on the 5th june, a day before lilo gave birth on 29th. lilo is strong headed, and brave but im mellow and i know that she was forced to be strong all alone.
billy tong, my brother is super bangang and he kept coming with bangang problems and with bangang conclusions that had made my parents buntu with his bangang-ness.
and lastly, the apple of my eyes, sofian. i and dz had bought sara with this cute cushy butterfly that comes with a pulling thing, when you pull it there will be music coming out of it ala lagu tido bayi. bunyi comel. lupa laa apa nama dia. but sofian he was too excited seeing it and declared it as his and brought to anywhere in the house and being all mushy with it. gerammmmmmmmmmmm. agagagagagag.
finally, i started my june with funtimes. and hope it will go on till end of it. i am in love and im keeping myself together, be my diamond and im in for forever. you know, you are.
'we are creatures of the wind.'
(whattalongone)(aintthemusicboxawesome.butmoreawesomeifitplaysallthewayandnoneedtobuffer)(imsleepyandiwannamakelovetomybedandpillows)
i have to forget how to be normal. and since im working on odd hours now, would be a bliss if i just ignore it. so..in order to make me ignore it, i provided some words for myself to think of something. the words are totally ear-picked, based on the music playing on the media.
1) who would dare
would you? being built with a concious mind and feets and eyes and ears and hands and tongue. i dare you to eat cockroaches. id say ur superb, but thick in the head.
2) clean your face with it
it is a thing, which you can wash off from your face. like.. embarassment, shame, unhappiness, annoyed, anger. it would really be a jolly goody if there is any . could really save up a lot of confidence especially on embarrassing moments..
3) memories fade, so did yours
get a diary. tell your bf. have a blog. call your bestfriends. take pictures. doodle it on your wall. scrape off some wood. make a song. cut your wrists. ouh.. these are for "not to fade". if you like it to fade, then let it fade.
:| hmm. guess these are not helping. and ouh, i just stepped on my earphones. the night is getting suckier every minute.
